memory lane

I'm here at Matt and Monica's house and since Sawyer isn't going down for his nap as smooth as usual it has taken me down memory lane. Normally I give Sawyer his bottle and when it's all, I lay him in bed with his pacifier and he is soon asleep. Not so this morning. After 30 minutes of talking to himself, I went in to see what was going on and as soon as I opened the door, I smelled what the problem was. In the process of changing him, his liquid plumbing worked as well! After I had him all cleaned up, I held him for a while and the temptation was to hold him until he went asleep. I know that always makes it harder on his mommy later so I put him in bed. He burst out in this angry cry and I walked out feeling bad. Less than a minute later he was talking and within 5 minutes, he was sleeping.

Let me just say, having your children go to sleep on their own is such a blessing. I am also aware that getting them to that, isn't easy. It wasn't something that I ever achieved very well with my children.

A lot of people have heard me tell the story of my battle with Matt after Melissa was born. At a younger age, I always rocked him until he went to sleep and then trying to lay him down without him waking up was the next challenge. When Melissa came along, I was still laying down with him until he went to sleep. I was challenged at parenting class to have him fall asleep on his own. Normally when I would try to do that, he would fuss and cry then I would give in. Dah!

On a Monday after parenting class was fresh in my mind, I was determined to be strong and do what I should have done a year earlier. I read him a story as I held him then put him to bed with instructions for him not to get up until he had slept. He had other ideas and going to sleep on his own was not one of them. He screamed, cried and kept getting out of bed while I was trying to feed Melissa. We lived in a small house so his room was just up the stairs from the living room. Soon he started throwing objects down the stairs while yelling words that no young child should be using. I had gone upstairs numerous times trying to comfort him and yet being firm. After this went on for what seemed like forever, I called our parenting class teacher and said if I need to follow through with this, I need someone to pray for me. I was at my wits end. My strong willed child was on the verge of winning the battle. By this time my little Matt was screaming and crying and since I was living next door to my in laws(Great Grandma Barbara)I told Matt that I was taking Melissa next door and I'd be right back. I took Melissa to Grandma's, handed her off and said I'd be back soon and ran back to my house. As I entered the house, it was quiet. I stood at the bottom of the stairway and listened. All I could hear was sniffles. The stairs were squeaky and so I was afraid to go up. I waited about 5 minutes then crept upstairs. There he was sound asleep on his hunches, butt up in the air and his body was still shaking with sniffles in his sleep. Oh, my poor little boy. If only I had taught him much younger! I was dreading bedtime that night but when it came time to sleep, he informed me that we didn't need to lay down with him anymore. Sigh......

Even now, when my grandchildren cry in their beds, I find myself needing to get as far away from their crying as possible.