Support Group

Is there anyone out there that looks after your parents on a regular basis? Sometimes I feel weary in well doing. Actually it's a lot like being a Dairy Farmer! I loved farming but I didn't enjoy being tied down and doing some of the messy things that went with farming.

For those of you that don't know, we live next door to my husband's parents and look after their needs on an almost daily basis. Mother can no longer comb her own hair, no longer cooks or cleans and gets around with a walker. Wil gets her daily medications ready and helps them a lot with medical questions and they just enjoy talking to him. The main thing I do, is comb Mother's hair, odd jobs and mostly try to cheer her up. The cheering her up is my most challenging job at times. My daily routine takes me over to their place as soon as I come home from work. Mother never seems to understand what my hurry is and doesn't seems to remember that my house doesn't clean itself. Today she asked if I can't just sit for a while. Forget the fact that it's Saturday and I had just spent the morning at my job. I guess I may as well sit because I normally don't feel like working anyway by the time I get home. She does however sit all day and see's everything in her own house that needs to be done.

Did I sign up for this job? No. Oh, wait-I guess I did, when we moved next door years ago.

Wil's sister Mary comes out weekly to wash Mother's hair and every other week she also cleans the house. Along with her visit she takes care of numerous other things. Then there is a sister Sue who lives in Kansas who comes out for a week at a time, whenever she can to give us a break.

What I'm trying to say is that sometimes I get weary in well doing. Sometimes I do my duties grudgingly. It's those times that I struggle with guilt. Wil has been gone the last 2 days, so it all falls on me. Last night I ran over after work and mother was all alone. Dad had gone to town and was going to be gone several hours. I asked what she planned to eat and she thought she may open a can of celery soup.(not my idea of a meal) I went home and got some soup I had made the night before and got her fed.

As I was leaving, she took a hold of my hand and with grateful eyes, full of love she thanked me. Once again, I was reminded that this my lot in life right now and most of the time, I'm happy to to be able to serve them. I'm reminded once again of all the things they did for us when they were younger and healthier.
Whenever possible I take my grandchildren along over because it seems to cheer them up. Today Matt brought Sawyer and Brennan over while I was there.
These are cell phone pictures but I think you can see what I mean.