Grandma Barbara's Goodbyes

I am way behind in my blogging, but I want to blog about Mother Barbara, while it's fresh in my mind.

Mother has been needing more help over the last few months, but Dad wasn't ready for outside help. However, everything changed when Mom fell on her back on Sunday, June 30th, dad's birthday. My family reunion was in KS over the 4th and we were struggling to know what to do. We started Home Health Care on the 2nd, the day that we left and by Friday, they needed to bring in a wheelchair for her. Mary ended up needing to stay with them Thursday-Monday early AM. Wil and I took her to the Doctor on Monday and then to the retreat for xrays. They did see a compression fracture at L-1 but couldn't tell if it was old or new.

We spent most of Monday with her and I spent the night. Have you ever slept in a house that has clocks that strike on every hour and half hour??!! Well, I found it very disturbing. I survived. Tuesday the aide came in the morning and Melissa helped out with grandma in the afternoon.

Tuesday night I was on duty again and Grandma was having a rough night. After being up the second time and not comfortable, I brought her out on the recliner. At 4:00 she was not feeling well and thought maybe if she could have a bowel movement. Soon after she sat down, she broke out in a sweat and passed out. I had my cell phone with me, supported her head,called Wil and simply said," get over here." After she rallied back and we got her back in the chair, Wil went home. Before she fell asleep, she said that she really wished she could see the girls again. We talked a bit about her feeling it was close to her end here in life, then we both fell asleep.

I woke to her panickly saying, "goodbye Kathy, goodbye Kathy". She really felt she was dying and then she asked that I please get Dad. I woke up Dad and he came out and I called Wil to let him know what was going on. I wanted to give them privacy, so I stayed out of the room but I did hear part of their conversation and it blessed me to see them hug. No sooner had she said her goodbyes to Dad when she told me that she really wanted to talk to the girls. I didn't really feel like it was an emergency but I knew if she did die, I would never forgive myself for not calling them. I first called Mary. I had to hold the phone for her and so I was blessed with hearing her conversation and I'm sure Mary needed to hear what mother said and then she even asked Mary what she had found out at her Dr. appointment. Next it was Sue and then she asked that Wil come back. She told all of us that she loved us, some she asked for forgiveness and then she also asked Wil to take care of Daudy and to make sure he isn't alone all the time. It was a special time for us.

Wed. morning after Melissa, Isaiah and Brennan went out to breakfast, they stopped by to see Grandma. 1st Melissa hugged grandma and told her she loved her then, Brennan said, "I love you Grandma Barabara, how are you?". She then looked at Isaiah standing at the foot of the bed and said, "and what about you, do you have anything to say?!! Isaiah then gave her a hug and told her that he loved her. Then Brennan, who was standing beside her bed, said, "how many days before Grandma dies?"! Melissa, Isaiah and Brennan had been having a conversation about dying and Heaven before they got there. Later in the day, Matt and Monica were able to have conversation with her as well.

I can't remember at what point she started telling us what to do again and Wil said, "she's back!"

Wed. night Wil and I both slept over there and I slept on the recliner and Wil on the couch, using our baby monitor. Wil never even found out when Mom woke me at 2 to take her to the bathroom. After that I couldn't sleep and so I sent text messages to my email address for something to do.

TickToc...Tick Toc...Tic Toc...Two different clocks ticking, all night long. Oh wait, now it's the refrigerator running....The breathing and snoring sounds coming from the monitor. The snoring coming from WIl lying on the couch, the couch that I wish I'd be on...Wil's phone reminding us every 15 minutes that it has a low battery. Bong, Bong, Bong, at 3:00 both tick toc clocks reminded me at different times that i still had not gone back to sleep after the 2:00 potty. Then came the 1/2 hour reminders, then 4:00 bonging and now the 4:30 reminder. Dang those clocks!!! I give up. I then woke up Wil and went upstairs to bed and slept 45 min. before going to work.

Mary helped out a lot this week and stayed with Mom Friday through Saturday so we could have time with Melissa and Isaiah. This morning, Wil said that Mom was asking for me. He told me last night, that he really feels like she is close to her end. I went over to her bedside and she said, "there you are" and then she just hugged me, and just kept her arms around me until she fell asleep. Sue is on her way here from KS to help out this next week, and we are grateful for that but for a while, we wondered if she would be coming for a funeral instead.