Unresponsive?

A lot of people ask me how my Mother-in-law, Barbara is. She has really been my 2nd Mom, for 37 years now. People say, wouldn't it be a lot easier if it were your own mother and they pity me that I need to take care of my Mother-in-law. Yes, I can use encouragement and yes I can use support, but I'm not asking for any pity. Does it sap my energy at times, do I get tired of being strapped down at times? Yes, but there are pluses. I have my days that I can't remember any of them, but most days I am aware of them. There are lots of special moments.

While we were in Florida, I was reminded that it was a lot like it used to be when we would go on vacation without our children. In the beginning our conversations were a lot about Mom. The week before we left, she kept making sure I remember to tell Sue every little detail. "Now what temperature do you let me sit outside, where do we put the dirty laundry, will Sue be able to transfer me, and the list went on.

We left on Friday and on the way home from our morning walk on Monday, we got a phone call that Mom was unresponsive and didn't appear to be breathing. Marilyn(neice and Monday care giver) and Sue(Wil's sister) were both with Mom and our son, Matt was on his way home form work to help. I surprised myself with my reaction. I simply lost it and didn't really care how many morning walkers saw me, sitting there, crying. I felt so bad, that here this was all going on and we weren't there for her. I didn't want her to have to live but neither did I want her to die just then. I know it doesn't make sense but that is what I was feeling. Without going into the details about the episode events, I do want to sing the praises of all who were there in our place. We are grateful to all of them. Matt was the one that Mom ended up responding to. He was told over and over, how much she loves him. She also asked him why she wasn't just allowed to die. She thought she was going to go home with Daudy.

Mom has been incredibly weak since we are at home. Poor Marilyn, once again today, Mom became unresponsive and Matt came home to help transfer her from her wheelchair to the recliner. Tonight when I came home, she seemed very tired but alert and we had a normal conversation. What does all this mean? Phone call to the Doctors...decisions on med changes, med eliminations, more difficult to have others help with the care giving.

I am grateful for a husband who helps with every detail of the care giving, grateful for Mary who comes(Wil's sister)and gives relief, even after a hard days work, Sue and David, for giving us vacation relief and being great encourager's, for Marilyn who comes every Monday while I go work at Middlebury Chiropractic, for Matt, who drops everything at work to run home for emergencies, Monica, my daughter-in-law, who often drops by with the grandsons, and the list goes on. Neil and Alma Beachy have visited Mom almost every Thursday since she was in the NH and now here at our home. Now, I will soon get myself into trouble...so I'll stop. There are many more of you that have been a blessing, too many to start naming.