37th Anniversary

July 6, 1973

2010

Farewell, Daudy

  

 

No more pain for Daudy

Wed. morning when I got to the hospital at 6:30, the Nurse said that Daudy was trying to talk, but she couldn't understand him. I got excited and asked him a few questions. The responses that I understood were, vas?, ih vase net and oh my! When he tried to say more than one word at a time, I couldn’t understand him. The excitement was short lived. His oxygen saturation levels kept dropping. I can’t remember the order in which the Doctors came in, but none had good news. When Doctor Patel came in and asked me if it was ok if we move Daudy to ICU, I didn’t hesitate to answer, yes. Wil was in a meeting, Mary needed to be at work and Sue was at home in KS. Going to ICU was not a decision I had to make, since it was discussed previously. I called Wil and he came right up.

We were told the reason for sending him to ICU was that he could be watched better. They also wanted more antibiotics, liver specialist to check him, chest xray and more bld work.

I was alone with Daudy in ICU and there were lots of questions coming my way. I was getting a bit stressed when Tom, an employee whose office is next to Wil, stopped by. I asked if Wil was still in a meeting. Soon after, Wil set up camp in ICU and did his work from there. Tom had gone downstairs and told Wil that he thinks his wife needs him. Thanks Tom!

I had called both Mary and Sue to give them the update and it was so hard for both of them to not just drop everything and come. Mary was there by 2:30. After being with him all day, we talked and decide to suggest that the grandchildren that were around, should come see Daudy. He was still opening his eyes and at times would try to say something. Matt, Monica, Brennan, Sawyer and Jeremiah, Jim and Bryce, Dave, Agne, Daniel and Benjamin were all there. I took my grandsons to the private waiting room and had some needed grandchildren time.

When it came time to go home, I decided that I would spend the night. He seemed to do better when there was a familiar face around when he was moaning. That was the evening of the last storm. I was glad Wil was still there. We had to turn Daudys bed away from the window and since we chose to stay in the room with him, they gave us blankets to put over our heads, in the windows broke. We are thankful that we didn’t need them, but we did loose power and in the short time that it switched over to the generator, Daudy’s saturations dropped. Wil then went home and I went to sleep on the chair bed. Mary had gone home, just before the storm. It was a tough night. I was up and down with him. I was asking for pain meds for him before he was scheduled to have them. The Nurse then called the Doctor and got an order to give Morphine every 2 hours. By morning, he was getting more restless and then the doctor ordered Ativan, and that did the trick.

Soon after Wil got there Thursday, Dr. Patel came in the room, sat down and asked us to pull up a chair. He said that Alvin has multi-organ failure: Both lungs, liver and brain.

Dr. Patel advocated maximizing comfort : making sure he has no pain and is not restless.

He also advocates that we, the family, get our rest.

Marilyn and Joyce went to Life Care in LaGrange and brought Barbara to the hospital. We brought her there, thinking they would take her home late afternoon.

In this picture, Wil was on the other side of the wall on another phone and they were updating Sue and consulting about some decisions they may need to make.

Roxane stopped by with the children. Grandma holding Matthew.

Bryce and Tara with Daudy

All of a sudden around 5:00, Daudy quit breathing. One of the children quickly ran out to get Mary, who had gone out to talk on the phone with her daughter-in-law, Deb.

We said our good byes, took off the mask so grandma could kiss him good bye a bit better. He started to breathe again but struggled without the mask and so we put it back on.

The hospital called Pastor Ben and he was there with us the rest of the evening. We had some very meaning prayer times.

Matt and Monica had gotten a sitter and had planned to pick up dinner for us and Mary and spend the evening with us. I sent them a text, saying that I think we are loosing Daudy. They came straight to the hospital. It was such a blessing to have them with us. There were lots of tears shed. It meant a lot to hear grandma tell Matt how Daudy always thought a lot of him.

Worn out mother trying to make sense out of everything and very concerned what this all means for her. Loosing someone that she was married to for 66 years and who went to see her at the Nursing Home almost every day for a year now.

Mary’s son Jim came later after the rest of his family went home. Jim and Matt would have been the only grandchildren there when Daudy died. The rest were all there in spirit.

It just so happened that David and Mary Ellen had come to see Daudy right soon after he had stopped breathing the 1st time. We asked them to let Daudy’s other siblings know. It was such a blessing to us as a family, to have almost all of Daudy’s siblings and spouses there within an hour of his death. My sister Anna and Frank also stopped by to show their support.

Alvin D Beachy born June 28, 1923 and died June 24, 2010 at 9:40 PM

We love you Dad-Daudy

Daudy-6/22

Today marks a week since Dad’s accident. It’s amazing how our schedule has changed in 1 weeks time. We all 3 specialist come in today and non have answers. They said we could do more tests but that wouldn’t change what we are doing, so for now, it’s one day at a time. At this time, Daudy opens his eyes and his eyes will even follow you, but it doesn’t appear that he knows us. He doesn’t attempt to talk, he doesn’t squeeze our hand and has not had anything by mouth since he is in the hospital. He is getting high doses of oxygen in order to keep his saturation levels up.

Wil was expressing concern to a co-worker about not knowing what the next step is. His co-worker said, “let go-let God”.

This morning Wil went into the hospital early as usual, so he can be there if any Doctors show up. I got there around 9:00 and was there until 5:30. Wil’s nephew, Jim was there with Daudy when I got there. This morning Daudy had his eyes open a lot but also moaned a fair amount. Wil was working downstairs and would come up whenever a Doctor came. I sent him a text once that said, “please come!” Daudy had phlegm issues and it appeared he was choking and I panicked. Soon after that they gave him another dose of morphine and that helped a lot.

Dave and Agne stopped in for a while this afternoon.

Mary worked today and then after work, she went to LaGrange to get Mom. Mary then went on home and Mom stayed for around 2 hours, before I took her home. Mary along with Jim's family spent time with Daudy in the evening.

The drive from Goshen to Lagrange is quite long, but today it seemed much shorter. I had a very special time with Mom on the way back. She cried as she talked about her fears of never being able to talk with her husband again. She talked about her love for him, how he tried to treat people fair, we talked about our ultimate goal being heaven and how she doesn’t want him to suffer, but she would really miss him. I encouraged her to be open about her feelings at the Nursing Home and she said how good they have been about it.

I got home in time to mow the yard and work in the garden. Wil got home in time to till the garden. It was really bad.

Wil is getting pretty exhausted. It’s been early mornings and late nights. I am fortunate to have good replacement and have not worked much since the accident, so I can sit with Daudy.

Daudy-6/21

     

Today was a day, of a lot of tests. This is a picture of Daudy with his new Oxygen Mask and how he looked when he was wired up for his EEG test.  His skin on his nose broke open, so they had to change his type of mask.  He also had a PICC line put in, chest X-ray, CT Scan and his cast put on today.

In the morning, he didn’t open his eyes at all.  Sue and David left for Kansas around 2:00 this afternoon.  Daudy’s saturation levels on his oxygen dropped quite a bit during his CT Scan, so they had to increase the oxygen for a while.  After all the tests, he did open his eyes and appeared to follow you.  What he was comprehending, if any, we don’t know.

Mid morning, Mary Ellen, Joyce and Marilyn showed up to support us, and brought Rise n Roll donuts with them.

Aunt Sarah(Daudy’s sister), along with 2 neighbor ladies, went to the Nursing Home to visit Mother, so she wouldn’t be alone.  Mother had been at the hospital, the previous 4 days.

At the end of Daudy’s EEG test, his sister Barbara stopped by.

Daudy’s brother Neil, and his wife Alma were there when he was more alert.

My sister, Anna brought a wonderful Salad and bread sticks for our supper.  Daudy’s cast was put on while we were downstairs eating.

When I was about 1/2 way done eating, we got a phone call saying that my Dad was being brought to the ER with an ambulance.  It was a bit more than I could take for a brief moment.  My Dad’s hip had popped out and was in extreme pain.  They got it back in under sedation, without surgery, and he was given some very strict rules. 

Father's Day

Father's Day was a little different for us this year. I was able to talk with my Dad on the phone this morning, and tell him that I love him, and he was able to tell me, that he loved me as well. We were also able to tell Daudy that we love him, but are not sure that he heard us, and if he did, was not able to respond.

We had some great visits again today with family and friends. We had times of laughter and we had times of tears.

Thank you for your prayers, the phone calls, text messages, visits, hugs, making us laugh, popcorn, cookies, coffee cakes and helping us transport mother to and from the Nursing Home.

Daudy's Van

We were told by someone at the scene of the accident, that Daudy did have his seat belt on. Someone at the scene, took his seat belt off. His door had to be pryed open because it was locked and he was probably in too much shock to know enough to unlock it. Seeing the van and hearing from the people how things were at the scene, I'm almost amazed that he was so alert and able to tell us the details of the accident in the Emergency Room. He told me, he thought it was going to kill him.

Daudy-Friday, 6/18

I went to work in the morning but wasn't really needed and after a few texts from Wil, I knew I wouldn't be of much worth at work and headed back to the hospital.  There we sat and waited and anticipated change and answers that didn't seem to come.  We visited with family and friends that stopped by, who were all a bit surprised by how Alvin was.  He had visits from sisters, in laws, pastors, grandchildren, and great-grandchildren.

At those visits, he always opened his eyes and at times, we felt he followed and sometimes, we felt he knew who it was.  However, he never attempted to talk and he never squeezed our hand when we asked him to.  He does put his hands to his face to attempt to move his mask at times.

The special moment for Mary and I was when Brennan came to see him.  He really wanted to see Daudy, but it was a bit hard for him to see him like that and he didn't want to get too close.  Before he left, he wanted to say goodbye.  He stood by the bed and quietly said goodbye and waved.  I touched Daudy's face and said, "Dad, Brennan is here and wants to say goodbye".  He opened his eyes quite big and seemed to keep them open.  Mary descried it as eyes that wanted to smile.  It was a picture that we only have in our minds and Wil was sad that he wasn't there for it.

Late afternoon his Oxygen saturation dropped down to the low 80's, he had a low grade temp and his heart rate was up.  His Nurse called the Doctor, who ordered a BiPap Ventilator, an assistive machine with a mask that is strapped to his face.  After that he rested much better, with no more moaning.  His heart just had to work too hard before and he was wearing down.  We had hoped that after a good night of that, he would be responding this morning.  The Nurse did say that she had given him several doses of morphine during the night.

Sawyer and Jeremiah in the stroller and Brennan looking at Daudy without getting too close at first.

Wil very tired, juggling work and also being there for Dad.  Not to mention, keeping track of all the details.

Sue and David arrived from Kansas around 3:30

A private goodbye moment, but too precious to not share.

 

Worn out siblings as we relive and relay all the details to Sue and David.

Respiratory therapy giving Dad relief with the BiPap.